You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
