Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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