He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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