I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize