Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
