I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize