I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
