I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
