Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
