We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
