non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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