i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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