i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
