therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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