She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
