The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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