Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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