I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
