She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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