i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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