After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
