i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
