WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
