Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize