So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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