just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
