She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
