I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
