Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
