i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
