The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
