threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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