A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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