did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When did angry sex become our thing?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
