ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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