He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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