Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize