giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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