; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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