A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
