why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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