I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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