fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize