Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
