Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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