I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
