Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize