shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
