marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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