Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
