i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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