The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
