between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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