So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
