you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
