Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
