I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize