no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize