his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
