Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
