Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
