They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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