If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
