I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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