those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize