went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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