Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
