Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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