herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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