Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
