he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
